First off, I just want to thank everyone for reading my first blog last week. More than 300 unique hits across three countries and two continents. I don’t know what I was expecting but this exceeded it.
Following last week’s blog I set off on a journey to come up with new topics to cover. Mostly topics that I think people want to know my opinion on. This in my mind is everything, so needless to say you are going to have a lot to read in the future. I cannot however, take credit for this idea. I was listening to Russell Brand on Howard Stern last week and they mentioned that they have ladyfriends that are significantly better looking than they are; Howard has Beth O and Brand the amazing Katy Perry. This got t-BONE thinking: Why do guys almost always end up with better looking lifemates? One-night stands don’t usually follow this of course, but that is because physical attraction is not a primary criterion for choosing a one-night mate. 
In trying to figure this out, t-BONE sought out advice from friends. When asked, one friend said that he couldn’t name any couples where the man was hotter than his lady. He also mentioned that his wife could name three in 30 seconds. So is it that women are generally hotter than their male companions, or could it possibly be that men are so innately homophobic that they refuse to recognize that a man can be more attractive than his lady, or any lady? Given the two people discussing this issue, it couldn’t possibly be the case. Some of t-BONE’s best friends are gay. Also, nothing leads me to believe that my friend is homophobic in any way. Proven by the fact that he listens to Coldplay. Plus, she could only name three, a very small number based on the amount of couples any given person knows.
Another stated that they are better looking because they are the superior gender. t-BONE would agree that women are superior in many ways to men; they are better cooks (not my house, but in general), clean much better and are great at birthing a child. They are also much less gross than men, as lady-BONE reminds t-BONE on a daily if not hourly basis. They don’t have hair on their face, back or shoulders. They also shave the places they do have hair regularly to minimize the gross factor. They don’t pee in the shower or on the floor, or compete with their friends over the length, smell and explosiveness of their flatulent. Most have never tried to drink 30 beers in one day just to see if they could out drink their bro or throw down 10 shots just to throw up off a balcony.
There is just one thing that didn’t make sense about this theory in my mind. If they are the superior gender, why would they end up with worse looking companions? Or maybe that is why they are the superior gender. Did I just blow your mind?A man is never going to seek out a less attractive women to spend the rest of his life with. The rest of the night? Probably. But never the rest of his life. Women on the other hand seem not to care at all. A man is never going to marry a woman with hairy shoulders, but a woman can look past this for some reason. You do hear them talk about how this guy is hot and that guy is sooo hot. It’s all show. They are looking for personal connections, which is how they end up even going out on the first date with the gross and less attractive guy.
They say on How I Met Your Mother that there is always a reacher and a settler in any relationship. A couple of lady-BONE'S friends have pointed out on several occasions, and after a few cocktails, that I have reached well above my own level and that she has settled. I am not sure who should be offended more from that comment. At first it was me. I mean seriously dude, you think it gets better than t-BONE? The more I thought about it though, it should be my lady who is offended. I mean to suggest that she would settle is really offensive. What she did was commit to something greater than the surface. Like most women she looked past the grossness that is male and looked toward the inner BONE. She didn’t settle, she just did the opposite of what most men do which is prioritize the superficial. t-BONE certainly went for the pretty lady, he just lucked out that she also happened to have a great personality and puts up with a ton of his nonsense. My guess is that most men do the same, and normally luck out getting more than just a hottie. Their lady counterparts are looking for something more, and usually get that, just wrapped in a gross hairy package that is known as man. Maybe they are the superior gender?Stay thirsty my friends.
Well, I’m going all sociology on you. Women mate with less attractive men for 2 reasons. 1. In nature it takes a lot of resources/energy to create a child for the women. She will best be able to procreate if she finds a nice stable mate who won’t wonder too far from the cave to spread his seed somewhere else. 2. Women aren’t as visual as men are, we think with the big head. It means much more when a guy washes the dishes or opens a door then if he has 6 pack abs.
ReplyDeleteMe want nookie, pretty lady.
ReplyDeleteI was very much enjoying this post but then I passed out right after reading "she looked to the inner BONE."
ReplyDeleteI agree with Bianca; I really do think a lot of that is based on evolutionary principles. Let's take 2 famous men that are MORE attractive than their wives: Bill Clinton and John Edwards. I rest my case: not smart from an evolutionary perspective. Hillary & Elizabeth would have done better to hitch their wagons to less attractive and dynamic stars, probably (but of course they had other ambitions leading that decision I'm sure, and that worked out, it's not like either of them is on welfare).
Plus, many of my friends justify this imbalance because the less attractive guys try harder because they're not used to being handed everything on a silver platter. They often make better, more attentive boyfriends than the Adonises of the world.
Every once in a blue moon, though, you'll run across a guy who is both very handsome (and not at all gross) and amazing on the inside too. All around goodness. Like a Snickers bar. And then you get a very rare couple where NO ONE is the settler. What then? Discuss.
p.s. Mmmm, Snickerrrssss.
agree...men are more superficial...i mean visual than women.
ReplyDelete